She didn't know we were going, we wanted it that way, hard enough to deal with what we had to deal with anyway.
Not sure what to expect but knew it was going to be one of the toughest things we have ever done.
We knew he would not know us or even have an distant memory, but we needed the chance to say our last goodbye's and feel peace within ourselves that this will close many doors that have been left opened for too many years.
We walk in and there he is lying just as he normally would have been, arms behind his head and peaceful.
We go up and even though he had changed and is frail he was still the same man.
We say hello and he mumbles something, not sure what exactly but the accent is the same and there is comfort in that.
His blue eye's are the same and we wonder what he is seeing and whether the continual staring means he does recognise us just a little.
We stay for a while and chat, hard to know what to say but it is better than saying nothing.
We worry she may come in and find that we have come, this would not make her happy, likes to have control, but not this time.
We did what we had to do, if not for anyone else but for ourselves ,we said goodbye to the man we call our Dad and even though we are happy we have done so we are sad because we had too.
I just hope peace comes quickly and where ever he may go he can go and be the man he was instead of being the shell of a man he has become.